Personality Disorders in the Hundred-Acre Wood

Yes, you read that correctly. The subject arose in a rather circuitous manner: 1. Saw Jim's Valentine's Day cards from home. 2. Discussed Valentine's Day presents from our parents. My mom replaced The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet, which I lost to a friend years ago. 3. Mentioned that my favorite preschool unit so far this year focused on Winnie-the-Pooh. 4. Kristina informed us that she doesn't entirely like Pooh and friends, stating something along the lines of "Pooh's stupid." 5. I was about to argue that Pooh's simple-mindedness is a positive quality (as outlined in the aforementioned books), but I paused, reflected on the various characters in Milne's stories, and realized that there are indeed some serious issues at play. Let's take a look:

Winnie-the-Pooh: The easiest assessment to make is that Pooh is, above all else, simple. As Milne describes him, "a bear of Very Little Brain." There are, I believe, other elements at work here. He exhibits a few signs of being Schizotypal, such as odd mannerisms, thought processes and speech patterns that are difficult to follow, and odd beliefs or "magical thinking," but I don't think a full diagnosis is appropriate. It's probable that he also has Attention Deficit Disorder, as he's often in his own world, and has trouble focusing on a task or following conversation.

Piglet: It's quite obvious that Piglet suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The poor creature is scared of his own shadow, and any situation that's remotely unfamiliar is a cause for panic.

Tigger: I could make a case for Tigger having ADHD: he often fails to follow instructions, is easily distracted, does not seem to listen to others when spoken to directly, fidgets and squirms, runs or climbs when and where it is inappropriate, has trouble playing quietly, is more often than not seen as "on the go," and talks excessively.

Owl: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He has a grandiose sense of self-importance, requires excessive admiration, has a sense of entitlement, and shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Owl believes himself a Paragon of Wisdom, which is amusing if only because he also appears to be dyslexic.

Rabbit: First and foremost, he's Obsessive. Everything in his life has an order, particularly his precious garden. He wants no help, believing that only he can complete tasks properly. Any disturbance is his routine is overwhelming, and he maintains a highly disciplined lifestyle. It's no wonder that Tigger is his foil. There seem to be no compulsive behaviors, so rather than diagnosing him with OCD (hand-washing, counting) I believe he's only Obsessive. Rabbit is also highly Introverted (clearly not a disorder, but a characteristic worthy of note), preferring solitary activities - reading, gardening - to social situations, and finding it very difficult to "let go."

Eeyore: Chronic dysthymia (mild depression). Eeyore isn't a full-blown depressive, but he exhibits most of the signs of the less severe form: depressed mood for most of the day, low energy, low self-esteem, difficulty experiencing pleasure, and a hopeless or pessimistic outlook.

Roo: Roo is perhaps the most "normal" of all, as his hyperactivity can be explained by his age. It's possible, however, that the absence of a father figure, an inappropriate role model in Tigger, and a moderate disregard for his mother's rules will lead to delinquency in later years. Fortunately, there's plenty of time to steer him onto the path of healthy development.

Kanga: I don't see any personality disorder, per se, but Kanga is both overprotective of Roo, and then seemingly unable to discipline him. I think some parenting classes would work wonders, but on the whole, Kanga is a loving, stable mother.

Christopher Robin: Again, I find no particular condition, but there are a few concerns. Where are the boy's parents? They're completely absent, and a boy of his age needs supervision. He also seems to have no friends of his own species, and spends most of his time talking to animals. I foresee a potentially serious social disorder in the making, but as he's kind to animals, I'd rule him out from becoming a sociopath (who frequently present with cruelty to animals as children). The worst-case scenario is that Christopher Robin suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder. I Googled "Christopher Robin disorder," to see if I'd missed any serious warning signs, and found a piece that provides a very compelling argument. For his sake, I hope that there is in fact a Hundred-Acre Wood.

So there you have it, my highly enjoyable activity of the evening (or rather, very early morning). I didn't go as far as whipping out the DSM-IV manual, but did take a gander at some personality inventories to flesh out my own diagnoses. And now, both impressed with and only slightly embarrassed by my Psych Studentness, I'm sending myself to bed.